Sometimes I see what are supposed to be inspirational quotes that say things like “There are two kinds of people. The people who complain about how things are and the people who do something about it.”

Those quotes aren’t very inspiring for me. Throughout my life, I’ve taken actions to try and make changes in either the world, my community, or the places I’ve worked. But here’s the thing—I never feel like it’s enough. Most of the time, I start passionately and then get the fire snuffed out over time as I realize that it doesn’t seem to be making much of an impact. It feels like Sisyphus trying to push that boulder up the hill only to have it roll back down.

I recently got diagnosed with (and am seeking a second opinion to be sure) a chronic illness that impacts my ability to do as much as I would like physically and mentally. With the doctor visits and copays, I’ve been struggling financially, which is another issue that adds to all of this.

Feeling trapped, helpless, and discouraged are powerful emotions that are hard to get past. And honestly, not feeling that way often depends on the recourses you have to be able to get out of it: Money, time, mental and physical capacity.

If you research the correlation between money and happiness, you’ll find that emotional well-being rises with income. Former studies show it is only to an annual salary of around $75,000-$90,000. But newer studies released this year show that happiness continues to increase with income. What was concluded from the studies? Higher-income leads to more life satisfaction. More money gives someone greater control over their life. And, likely because of these two aspects, money reduces intense stress.

In countries that have implemented four-day workweeks, they have reported happier employees, fewer health issues, reduced costs for the business and its employees (running costs and commute costs for those not working remotely), increase in productivity levels, and increase in recruitment and retention. The disadvantages? It doesn’t suit every business model, and most employees are still working 40 hours a week or more, just in longer shifts for fewer days (which increases workplace stress and can have long-term health impacts). While that seems contradictory on the surface, it points to something bigger. While it frees up a whole day for employees to have the ability to live their lives outside of work (doing chores and errands or taking time with loved ones or having fun or simply resting), keeping it at the 40 hours still impacts stress levels which impact health.

We live in a world where technology has been booming. Machines and tools and gadgets have all been made to make our lives easier, but we are still sitting on this hamster wheel. I say sitting because we’re too exhausted, as a whole, to keep running at this pace.

In addition, not all of us are created equal. Not everyone has the same physical, mental, or emotional capacity. And those are all things that are fluid over our lifetime due to illnesses, accidents, trauma, mental health, and a myriad of other factors.

Imagine sitting at a diner with your friend. Your friend has Lupus and is trying to explain to you what it is like. She gathers up 12 spoons and hands them to you. These spoons represent finite amounts of energy. After handing you the spoons, she asks you to describe the tasks of a typical day and you list them out. She stops you abruptly and explains the entire process of just waking up and realizing you are late because you didn’t sleep well the night before. As you get to the task of showering, she takes a spoon. As you talk about getting dressed, she takes a spoon. By the time you make it to heading out the door for work, she’s already taken half of them. As you progress through the day and realize how differently she has to think about how she spends her energy, how she has to make choices about things you take for granted, how she has to live this way every day, you break down. With tears in your eyes, you ask her how she does this.

This is a summary of “The Spoon Theory” by Christine Miserandino. This is her personal story of explaining living with a chronic illness to one of her friends. You can read her full blog post here.
If you don’t have enough money, you don’t have enough time, and you don’t have enough physical energy or mental capacity to get the typical things done, how are you supposed to do anything else on top of it all?

Sometimes a person may really want to make a difference and they feel like they can’t. Or maybe they only know how to in small ways that seem irrelevant. Sometimes too, people who are passionate about changing things may be misunderstood as complaining. Don’t get me wrong, I think there is a difference. But it’s not always so clear. Words are powerful. They morph into thoughts, thoughts morph into ideas, ideas morph into action. Sometimes that may be all a person feels like they can offer.

Over the last few years, I’ve felt boxed in by a lack of these resources and have wanted nothing more than to find a way to just make life meaningful. I’ve always wanted to help others and make a difference. And feeling like I don’t have the money, time, or energy to give has been excruciating. It has made life an unfulfilled, overcast existence.

I’ve been poking and prodding and searching for where I have some control and can make changes. And I’ve concluded that changing courses to go into a helping profession will allow me to combine work and do what matters most to me that I haven’t been able to do much of for a while.

That in itself has taken a few years of deep soul searching and learning from experiences. And it’s brought me to what feels like a starting line, though I’ve been running toward that for a long while.

Sometimes the journey is long.